In Istanbul air port, Noor stood in hesitancy for her legs asked her to come back, she did not know that her dreams and ambitions for which she had always dictated her time and effort in planning for them, will fade away and disappear just like that without being able to save those dreams. She was sitting all alone in a strange world to her waiting for the plane to take off to Berlin- Germany, here her memories start to flash before her eyes mixed with grieve and pain in addition to some sparks of hope that are left in her heart for looking forward to meeting her husband the thing probably can ease her sadness.
Noor’s dream started to come true when she entered the faculty of Computer Engineering at Aleppo University. She studied very hard for five successive years despite war and its difficult circumstances taking place in all around Syria including Aleppo city. She dreamed to receive her collage certification as an engineer so that she can offer her beloved country something in return. However, her road was difficult and filled with obstacles and pains which were not taken into consideration at all. Her family was living in Alsha’ar neighborhood in liberated Aleppo(earlier before being captured by regime), so she was forced to hire a house with her colleagues in western Aleppo that is held by regime forces. Whenever she hears the sound of warplanes coming closer from the skyline of Aleppo city, her heart fills with panic and fear till they left.
So many young Syrians whether males or females were not able to further their study at universities due to war circumstances considering financial reasons for the high fees collage needs, or may be for fears of being arrested. Here options turn to be limited with a reality forcing on them decisions way far from their ambitions, so they gave up those dreams to save themselves; traveling abroad is one of the most safe options to them.
Noor’s fiancée decided to head Germany seeking asylum, where she can follow him later after finishing the procedures of “family reunion” at the time she was supposed to finished her study. However, fate has other planes for them that are against the advantage of their dreams; the embassy agreed on family reunion for them on a date that is a week before her national examination- it is a test put by the ministry of higher education to which all university students have to apply for in order to earn the certification, despite the rumors and demands to cancel it.
Many thoughts cross her mind, will she abandon her dream to graduate in order to win her only chance to travel and get married, or stay in Aleppo to do the examination and receive her certification? But the state of her besieged family in eastern Aleppo (before regime managed to control all Aleppo city) come to her mind. She decided unhappily to travel, with many pains in her heart and wonders in her mind “who I am going to blame for failing to choose the right call, my homeland turns to be a graveyard for dreams, or our evil selves who have given up morals and humanitarian principles for the love of money and power, I will not give up my dream despite every oppressor; I will come back some day to see my family again living in peace after bloody and brutal conflict”.
By samah Alkhaled
Translated by Sabah Najem
Syrian press center