اللاجئة السورية “وفاء” انتقلت إلى المملكة المتحدة منذ أربع سنوات بتأشيرة دراسية من سوريا، حيث كانت ناشطة سياسية تعمل مع المنظمات غير الحكومية. وهي تعمل الآن مع المنظمات التي تساعد طالبي اللجوء واللاجئين في لندن.
“لقد شعرت بالرعب حقًا عندما رأيت الأخبار. لم أفهم كيف يمكنهم مهاجمة فندق لطالبي اللجوء وإحراقه مع وجود أشخاص بداخله. شعرت وكأنني رأيت هذا السيناريو من قبل. لقد أثار ذكريات بعض الأحداث التي وقعت في سوريا.
اتصلت بي صديقة سورية وقالت: “لماذا نعيش هذه الحياة؟ لماذا نضطر لمواجهة هذا مرة أخرى؟” قلت لها إننا لا نملك خيارًا، هكذا هي الحال. لم نختر المكان الذي ولدنا فيه. لا نعرف ما إذا كنا سنظل طوال حياتنا هاربين من شيء ما أم أننا سنحظى بالقبول. سمعت أشخاصًا آخرين يقولون: “نعلم أننا غير مقبولين هنا. حتى لو عملنا، مهما كان ما نفعله”.
صحتي العقلية متدهورة. أحاول ألا أشارك الآخرين بذلك، لكن مزاجي متدهور. أشعر بالخوف الشديد وأشعر بالحاجة إلى البكاء طوال الوقت. أخاف من بذور الكراهية هذه. إذا كانت بذور الكراهية موجودة، فماذا نفعل؟
إن ما يجعلني أشعر بالخوف الشديد هو عندما أرى الأطفال منخرطين في أعمال الشغب تلك. يجب تعليم هؤلاء الأطفال. وهذا يجعلني أتساءل: ماذا تفعل الحكومة؟ هل ما نراه هو مجرد قمة جبل الجليد؟
آمل أن تضع الحكومة برنامجاً أو سياسة حقيقية بدلاً من خطاب الكراهية كما فعل الحزب السابق. في كل مرة تحدثت فيها سويلا برافيرمان، كنت أخشى أن يؤدي ذلك إلى اندلاع أزمة أتساءل عما إذا كنت في مكان آمن. وما إذا كانت الكوابيس التي حدثت في سوريا ستحدث هنا مرة أخرى. أشعر الآن بالارتياب عندما أسير في الشارع. لكنني سأحاول ألا أغير نمط حياتي أو أشعر بالخوف طوال الوقت. لا أريد أن أنتظر الناس ليقبلوني – أريد فقط أن أكون نفسي.
عن صحيفة The Guardian ترجمة مركز الصحافة الاجتماعية بتصرف
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